commodorified: A woman's leg, in shorts. Her partially visible hand points to the joint of her hip, which is circled in red. (badonkaklonk)
I have:

1) An 8 inch scratch down the inside of my left forearm, which I cannot account for.
2) A small deep bruise on my back from one of my bra hooks somehow managing to get out of position and slowly drive itself into my flesh for about an hour before it started to hurt, and a half hour after that before I could get somewhere to fix it.
3) A deep bruise under a shallow scrape where my thigh and butt meet from squatting down to clean something and running my butt into a sharp splinter on an orange crate. This is surprisingly unpleasant when one is walking briskly, as a major muscle runs right under the bruise.
4) A large discoloured patch on my left big toenail. No clue.
5) A small bruise on the top of my right foot. No clue.
6) A large bruise on my right shin.
7) Large numb/tingly patches on the outsides of both legs, but that's the bursitis and doesn't really count.

This is a pretty normal collection, really. That's the ridiculous part.

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