I think this actually applies more to the "me needing to do something consciously" thing than being kind does. Kind is sort of my default until I get hurt, but after that, I have to consciously tell myself that it's okay to get out all the flaming torches and molotov cocktails and like hell you're going to get another chance.

And I wish I could figure out why I attract people who seem to think that the correct way to deal with having hurt someone's feelings very badly is to disappear for a while, and then show back up as if nothing happened. I do have a memory, thanks.