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The Cook Has A Rotten Cold Vegetarian Soup:

Per 2 litres of vegetable[1] stock or reasonable equivalent thereof (or your favourite UNreasonable equivalent: I've used a) 1 packet Knorr vegetable soup and 2 litres of water, b) 1 big handful dried veggie flakes, 2 litres of water, c) 1 small handful dried mushrooms chopped small and 2 litres of water, d) veggie flakes and chopped dried mushrooms and 2 litres of water ... how sick are you and what do you have on hand?)

10 onions, chopped as finely as you have the energy for.
5 heads garlic, turned into skinned whole cloves.
Black pepper to taste and then add a bit.
Salt to taste.

Simmer until the cloves can be crushed against the side of the pot. Eat until you're tired of it or can breathe again. The two tend to occur at about the same time, actually.

Obviously a deeply lazy recipe, but hey, it's for sick people.

[1] Chicken or beef works just fine too.
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