commodorified: very worried stuffed crocodile clutching a pillow (not coping)
[personal profile] commodorified
Wiscon was great, and I feel like the panels I did went well and were worthwhile, although 5 panels over 2 days left me feeling like I didn't get to really get immersed; I didn't go to anything I wasn't on, there were several people I hugged but didn't get to talk to, and I was so incredibly tired the whole weekend and my throat hurt like hell and I kept waking up coughing, which I attributed to my lingering cold. Somehow I managed to magically overlook that I was sufficiently over said cold to have spent the weekend before hiking, including walking to the top of Dome Rock.

So then I said goodbye to everyone, packed my stuff, went to Benet's, and crashed.

... And woke up coughing and retching four times in the night, despite glugging down some antihistamine and cough syrup when it started.

I'm allergic to mold. Viciously. And Madison, being on two lakes plus whatever else goes into these things, has a thundering black mold problem.

The last couple of times I've been to Madison have been okay, one being WisCon 36 which was warm and dry and the other being October, but after Wiscon 35 I had the horrible awful allergies of doom and eventually changed my ticket and left early after coughing so hard I badly strained a rib. Which is incredibly painful, btw, and having done it once I'd do almost anything not to do it twice.

So I kind of freaked out.

So then I texted Cat and she came and got me and we went to breakfast and then to Nelle and Izzy's so I could nap on the sofa surrounded by air purifiers, and I got worse, and started having actual trouble breathing, and so Cat called Aeroplan and changed our tickets so I could go home the next day and she could stay an extra day to escort me.

And I cried a lot, which was ill-advised, but. And we went for supper with Benet so I could at least say goodbye and the pizza place was full of spores and we finished our pizza and Cat noticed that my lips were turning kind of white and we went to urgent care, where they put me on a nebuliser and gave me a prednisone scrip and an inhaler and I went back to Nelle and Izzy's and lay miserably propped up on the sofa until Cat got us packed and we headed for the airport.

And Chicago had a ground-stop on and we were delayed a bunch leaving and the Dane county regional airport has carpets. Which have spores. So I was back to shallow panting and trying hard not to think about how this would be going if I weren't prednisoned and albuteroled to the gills, because when your lips are already a fetching shade of white around the edges is not the time for panic attacks.

Apparently it was for a VIP, the pilot said Air Force One. I must really like Obama. That extra ninety minutes sitting over a rug full of death was unutterably awful, but I forgives.

So we got into, and eventually out of, Chicago, and my Favourite Ex came and picked us up and we had pho and I came home and crashed hard, but not as hard as Cat, who is now and forever my superhero.

Seriously people, she spent 36 hours basically making sure I kept breathing. She made me let her spend the money to change both tickets. She kept Ian and Rayne and Andrew updated. She made me go to urgent care and didn't give me shit when I did that Canadian thing about how I couldn't pay out of pocket for medical care it would ruin us and never be reimbursed and just get me home I'll go to the clinic and she got my stuff from Benet's and did all the packing and bear-led me home and sympathised with me when I bitched about the prednisone and held my hand when I felt like I might die and now that I can spare the energy to notice I begin to realise how fucking awful this has been for her. Please send her ALL the love ever in comments. She is my Captain Marvel forever.

Other awesome people: Nelle, Izzy, Benet, Ian (by phone from Toronto where he's working his ass off at CUPE50), Gibbs.

So now I'm home, and I'm on all the meds, and I'm still not breathing right. Plus my chest and face are full of crap, but hey, now I feel like I have pleurisy, instead of like I'm being smothered.

It sucks, but I'll take it.

I don't know what my future holds wrt Wiscon. I was semi-ok in the hotel this time, but this keeps getting worse; I'm not acclimating, I'm getting more sensitive.
I don't know what I'm going to do about the fact that people I love very much live in Madison, either. There must be some safe period to visit in. Maybe.

I'm not thinking about it right now. I'm not thinking about much. All I'm really thinking about is breathing.
Later, I might ask for advice. Right now, I don't think I can deal with it.

Yes, I have totally utterly quit smoking again. Horrible junkie that I am, even I can recognise the line between 'this might kill you someday' and 'this might kill you some day this week' is crossed.

It was a wonderful WisCon. It was worth everything. Later, I want to do some panel writeups, but right now all I can do is lie here and breathe, and watch Cat sleep.

ETA and then things went a bit South again and we went to the walk-in. So now I'm also on Advair and have instructions not to do things. FML. I'll just sit here and pant, then, shall I?
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