Let's call this a thought experiment, shall we?

[commodorified]

1) Your life contains:

a) a corgi.

b) a sofa.

c) a wool blanket.

d) a half pound of butter.

e) some cotton underpants.

2) Via a brief and apparently largely harmless stay in the front half of the corgi, the bulk of the butter has been transferred from a plate on the table to the above.

3) You would like to remove the second-hand butter from the above items. Hot water and detergent have made no impression, nor has trying to scrape it off manually, as it just sinks into the fabric.

4) So. Now what?

Comments

[parhelion]

Hmm. Have you tried corn meal (not gooshed in, but placed firmly on it for a while) followed by dishwashing liquid (the heavy-duty anti-grease sort rubbed in, left for a couple of hours, and then washed)?

[sara]

Shave the corgi, throw away the underpants (and any remaining butter), take the wool blanket to be dry-cleaned and call in a steam cleaning place for the couch. Hot water and detergent are just going to make things shrink funny (even the corgi, although that might be a good idea).

[reginagiraffe]

Dawn dish detergent. It's the one they use on the crude oil-soaked seabirds. It's seriously better at removing oil-based substances than other detergents.

[nolivingman]

For the underpants and blanket (assuming a big enough freezer for the latter), I would try freezing them and then the butter should chip off easily enough.

For the sofa, I'm at a loss.

[redbird]

I would also throw away the underpants: cotton underpants are a fine thing, but they're readily available and not terribly expensive.

Beyond that, my only halfway useful idea (rather than silliness like "shave the couch and dry clean the corgi") would be hosing the corgi down. Possibly with warm water, and with towels ready to wrap the dog and dry it off; as you've said, it's Canada in November.

[girlpearl]

BTW while I was writing that comment the tiny naked dogs were in Mel's kitchen industriously nomming a tray of brownies. Blaaaaargh.

[theleaveswant]

Stitch & Bitch consensus agrees with parhelion: coat with absorbent powder (cornstarch, talcum, etc.) and let sit, then scrape off an inspect. Repeat as needed to remove grease and odor and reduce stains.

[wordweaverlynn]

This casts an unexpected light on life at Buckingham Palace.

No practical advice, but you might ask the Queen.)

[cleverthylacine]

Dawn dish detergent on the corgi. Dawn Power Dissolver (which is too strong for the corgi, trust me on this, and wear gloves) on the sofa and wool blanket.

Wash wool blanket in the warmest water it can stand with dishwashing liquid, preferably Dawn.

I'm with everyone who suggests throwing out the underpants. They're biodegradable and can be replaced for $2.