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commodorifiedIt is not actually the sole and only goal of parenting to get your child to go to sleep. I admit, it can feel like it when they're very small [1], but there is actually a whole lot of stuff you can and want to do with babies: feed them! Wash them! Play with them! Dress them in cute outfits and take them places! Teach them to walk, talk, and play the accordion!
You could, however, be forgiven for getting confused about this if you just scanned the titles at the bookstore.
Similarly:
Ok, look: first of all prescriptivist language about food is mostly[2] total bullshit.
But even were I prepared to stipulate the contrary: if your headline is "X food: not The Healthy Choice After All", is it too much to expect your thesis to be more like: "the iron in dark green leaf vegetables isn't very bioavailable, don't try to use spinach as a main source", not just "omg, X actually has A LOT OF CALORIES!!!"
Because, you know what?
Food is supposed to contain food. It's like we're supposed to believe that our single overriding goal when we buy food is the maximum number of chews with the minimum actual results.
And, um, no. Food is supposed to be made of food. Take your zero-fat fake-sugar flavoured gelatin mislabelled as yoghurt and stuff it up your jumper and give me some gods-damned breakfast.
I have shit to DO today.
ETA: I can tell the outside temp has gone up; the X-ray TV tonight at the nurses' station is all lungs and skulls instead of hips and arms and ankles
[1] it's not that all these tricks for getting kids to sleep don't work; trust me, by the time your kid is, say, 15, they'll sleep right through, no problem, and often well into the next day as well.
[2] And when I say "mostly" instead of "completely" it's to allow exceptions like "don't leave raw poultry at room temp, especially if it's stuffed, ok?"
You could, however, be forgiven for getting confused about this if you just scanned the titles at the bookstore.
Similarly:
Ok, look: first of all prescriptivist language about food is mostly[2] total bullshit.
But even were I prepared to stipulate the contrary: if your headline is "X food: not The Healthy Choice After All", is it too much to expect your thesis to be more like: "the iron in dark green leaf vegetables isn't very bioavailable, don't try to use spinach as a main source", not just "omg, X actually has A LOT OF CALORIES!!!"
Because, you know what?
Food is supposed to contain food. It's like we're supposed to believe that our single overriding goal when we buy food is the maximum number of chews with the minimum actual results.
And, um, no. Food is supposed to be made of food. Take your zero-fat fake-sugar flavoured gelatin mislabelled as yoghurt and stuff it up your jumper and give me some gods-damned breakfast.
I have shit to DO today.
ETA: I can tell the outside temp has gone up; the X-ray TV tonight at the nurses' station is all lungs and skulls instead of hips and arms and ankles
[1] it's not that all these tricks for getting kids to sleep don't work; trust me, by the time your kid is, say, 15, they'll sleep right through, no problem, and often well into the next day as well.
[2] And when I say "mostly" instead of "completely" it's to allow exceptions like "don't leave raw poultry at room temp, especially if it's stuffed, ok?"
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Date: 2012-01-09 10:37 am (UTC)(I have a sleep disorder. It apparently started manifesting noticeably when I was a toddler. I certainly don't remember ever not having it.)
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Date: 2012-01-09 10:49 am (UTC)However, I did not mean and do not wish to make fun of the very real sleep problems babies and toddlers can have, only of the rash of parenting books that make it sound as though the ultimately desireable state of a baby is Comatose With Occasional Cooing.
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Date: 2012-01-09 11:33 am (UTC)Indeed, it can set up problems going into later life. I've always thought I had an easier time than my sister because as a baby she was a difficult sleeper and I had the ability, as my mother put it, "to sleep on a clothes-line". Which, I think, was reflected in relative perceptions of us as "a problem child" and "a good child" (which isn't unmitigated bliss for the bearer of either label, btw).
Class conflict here
Date: 2012-01-09 11:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-09 11:38 am (UTC)I nearly walked out of Finding Nemo when I encountered the 12-step sharks. I certainly spent the remainder of the film muttering, "Food isn't an addiction! Not having a swim-bladder uses a lot of energy! Energy comes from food! Sharks are not morally culpable or weak-willed for acting in accordance with their metabolism! Fuck you, Pixar!"
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Date: 2012-01-09 11:51 am (UTC)Amen to that! Good luck on your quest to fuel your day.
Hugs for when you need them.
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Date: 2012-01-09 12:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-09 12:40 pm (UTC)Groundbreaking new research released today suggests that under some circumstances, food may be not be as harmful as it's traditionally been thought.
"Of course, this is a small-scale preliminary study," said lead scientist Totally Made Up Name, "but it indicates that the human body may actually need a certain number of calories to function properly. However, it's possible that these results only apply to people who engage in intense activities like moving, talking or thinking."
Speaking on behalf of the National Association For Nutrition And Dieting But Mostly Dieting, J. Also Made Up Name cautioned that this research shouldn't lead people to adopt fad diets that are high in protein, fat or carbohydrates. "It's important for people to remember that food is still fundamentally evil."
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Date: 2012-01-09 12:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-09 01:01 pm (UTC)Have you seen that spoof piece about the dangers of dihydrogen oxide?
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Date: 2012-01-09 01:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-09 01:26 pm (UTC)It isn't?! D:
Crap. I need a nutritionist or something, it's amazing I've lived to adulthood.
(That is totally not sarcastic, btw, I know basically zip about food.)
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Date: 2012-01-09 01:34 pm (UTC)(Dihydrogen dioxide, by the way, is indeed something to take seriously.)
Re: Class conflict here
Date: 2012-01-09 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-09 01:38 pm (UTC)-J
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Date: 2012-01-09 01:48 pm (UTC)Possibly in the same section of the The Globe and Mail that once ran an article about how fruit is bad for you
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Date: 2012-01-09 01:57 pm (UTC)You don't have to tell anyone it's a Ph.D. in English.
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Date: 2012-01-09 02:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-09 02:30 pm (UTC)My fiance's mother is a chemistry teacher, and regularly gives it to her students, in an attempt to teach critical reading of science reporting.
That thing makes ME pissy; frankly.
Date: 2012-01-09 02:54 pm (UTC)It's like the Darwin Awards: it looks like humour but when you poke it a bit it's mostly ghost repellant.
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Date: 2012-01-09 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-09 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-09 03:05 pm (UTC)What's supposed to be wrong with bananas, for all love?
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Date: 2012-01-09 03:53 pm (UTC)By which I mean, had you been being sarcastic, I think the sarcasm might have been totally warranted.
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Date: 2012-01-09 04:42 pm (UTC)I'm going with fruits and vegetables = good for you, highly processes food = not so good for you, but often really yummy. I see no reason for it to be more complicated.