Skud is catching up on business correspondance

[commodorified]

skud: I have a glass of bourbon which is nearly empty, and a google doc in which I am writing myself a recommendation letter.
commodorified: Don't forget to remove any sentences containing the words Acquitted, Squids, or Frottage
skud: already removed them.

Which reminded me that, as I am somewhat ill and in need of amusement, it's time for word games, specifically for a round of:

Action Verbs To Avoid When Writing Your CV

I'll start:

Defenestrate
Abscond
Strafe

Comments

[vass]

All examples below are unless the verb was an actual job requirement.

Zhuzh
Mother
Insinuate
Fondle
Caress
Formicate (yes, with an M. Trust me, it's worse this way.)
Tweet
Protect (just picture it on the resume of a person who has never had a job involving security on any level)
Tenderise
Calm (in exactly the right circumstances, I think this could be the most frightening verb possible. 'Pacify' would be more overt, but therefore less sinister.)

And if I could think of a verb for prophylactic, that would be there too.

Edited because I thought of another one: try. Just picture 'tried to' before every other verb in the resume.

[azurelunatic]

The very thought makes me antsy.

EXTERMINATE.