It's great that Terry Karney/![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pecunium, as a member of the Arisia concom, is apparently speaking out on Noel Rosenberg's behaviour and I have no particular reason to feel that he is less than sincere in his condemnation of Noel Rosenberg's stalking of Crystal Huff.
I do have reason to believe that if he has strong feelings about the wrongness of having intercourse with someone without a condom without asking for or getting consent when all previous agreements said that condoms would always be used, that would be a conclusion that he came to sometime after 2009.
That reason being, for the avoidance of doubt, that he did that precise thing to me in the autumn of that year. When I asked him, later, why he had done it, he said he had felt like it. I accepted that explanation at the time. His life was very difficult just then; I guess I felt like that was a generally acceptable reason for doing shitty things. I don't accept this now.
In the course of our relationship I introduced him to a fair number of people, a lot of them women, and, further, introduced him as a safe person and one of the good ones. He met his now-wife at my wedding, so, you know, I guess there's a through-line to Arisia from there. I now regret many of those introductions quite a lot, and recommend women and organizations exercise caution with him in the future.
As far as Noel Rosenberg, I have known him slightly for a decade or so. I know his now ex-girlfriend and her spouse very well. I don't know Crystal, but I believe them, and I support them. I didn't know anything concrete to Noel's discredit before this but I can't say I was surprised, either.
I don't know Maura, either, but I believe them, too.
The reason I am posting this now is that I can't face the thought of Crystal having to deal, after their tremendously brave statement, with a ConCom -- which I guess is now supposed to be doing the right things and trying to make amends -- containing at least one other person who has done some of the same things, without speaking up.
If Arisia is serious about addressing their problems and moving forward, this is information they require. If they are not, this is information that potential future attendees and volunteers require.
I have not contacted Arisia and have no plans to. Having read Crystal and Maura's accounts of attempting to handle things privately and through established channels with Arisia I am entirely disinclined to go that route myself. There appear to be dangerously sharp rocks in those channels, and nowhere safe to land at the end.
It is okay to link or otherwise share this post.
ETA from Cat/fairestcat: this post is currently set to screen all comments from people not on Marna’s (small) access list. I will be checking this post throughout the day and unscreening/deleting comments as necessary.
pecunium, as a member of the Arisia concom, is apparently speaking out on Noel Rosenberg's behaviour and I have no particular reason to feel that he is less than sincere in his condemnation of Noel Rosenberg's stalking of Crystal Huff.I do have reason to believe that if he has strong feelings about the wrongness of having intercourse with someone without a condom without asking for or getting consent when all previous agreements said that condoms would always be used, that would be a conclusion that he came to sometime after 2009.
That reason being, for the avoidance of doubt, that he did that precise thing to me in the autumn of that year. When I asked him, later, why he had done it, he said he had felt like it. I accepted that explanation at the time. His life was very difficult just then; I guess I felt like that was a generally acceptable reason for doing shitty things. I don't accept this now.
In the course of our relationship I introduced him to a fair number of people, a lot of them women, and, further, introduced him as a safe person and one of the good ones. He met his now-wife at my wedding, so, you know, I guess there's a through-line to Arisia from there. I now regret many of those introductions quite a lot, and recommend women and organizations exercise caution with him in the future.
As far as Noel Rosenberg, I have known him slightly for a decade or so. I know his now ex-girlfriend and her spouse very well. I don't know Crystal, but I believe them, and I support them. I didn't know anything concrete to Noel's discredit before this but I can't say I was surprised, either.
I don't know Maura, either, but I believe them, too.
The reason I am posting this now is that I can't face the thought of Crystal having to deal, after their tremendously brave statement, with a ConCom -- which I guess is now supposed to be doing the right things and trying to make amends -- containing at least one other person who has done some of the same things, without speaking up.
If Arisia is serious about addressing their problems and moving forward, this is information they require. If they are not, this is information that potential future attendees and volunteers require.
I have not contacted Arisia and have no plans to. Having read Crystal and Maura's accounts of attempting to handle things privately and through established channels with Arisia I am entirely disinclined to go that route myself. There appear to be dangerously sharp rocks in those channels, and nowhere safe to land at the end.
It is okay to link or otherwise share this post.
ETA from Cat/
fairestcat: this post is currently set to screen all comments from people not on Marna’s (small) access list. I will be checking this post throughout the day and unscreening/deleting comments as necessary.