In other news
Feb. 12th, 2016 11:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
commodorifiedSo this is why at the tender age of 40-odd I started taking amphetamines.
Oddly, I WAS diagnosed as a child. I was also overmedicated, in retrospect—you know what, it was the 70s and from all I can find out everyone on Ritalin was getting too much of the stuff; I don't even know my exact dosage but it was 4-6 Ritalin/day—which led to a 30-year refusal to try again, and also, probably to my benefit, a life-long wariness of recreational drugs, on the grounds that if my experience of speed was so very very different from what other people described, I was not interested in finding out what happened if I took, say, psychedelics.
This is my brain on drugs, probably. If this were a spinning .gif with the saturation hiked up and thegoat sheep invoking ancient gods.
"...[G]irls’ symptoms include:
a tendency toward daydreaming
trouble following instructions
making careless mistakes on homework and tests."
Oh man, so you know how I turned into such a good proofreader? ABJECT TERROR. Which is NOT the way to develop a life skill, really.
Most of the things I'm really good at I acquired through a combination of a) hyperfocus and b) fear of being screamed at.
Oddly, I WAS diagnosed as a child. I was also overmedicated, in retrospect—you know what, it was the 70s and from all I can find out everyone on Ritalin was getting too much of the stuff; I don't even know my exact dosage but it was 4-6 Ritalin/day—which led to a 30-year refusal to try again, and also, probably to my benefit, a life-long wariness of recreational drugs, on the grounds that if my experience of speed was so very very different from what other people described, I was not interested in finding out what happened if I took, say, psychedelics.
This is my brain on drugs, probably. If this were a spinning .gif with the saturation hiked up and the
"...[G]irls’ symptoms include:
a tendency toward daydreaming
trouble following instructions
making careless mistakes on homework and tests."
Oh man, so you know how I turned into such a good proofreader? ABJECT TERROR. Which is NOT the way to develop a life skill, really.
Most of the things I'm really good at I acquired through a combination of a) hyperfocus and b) fear of being screamed at.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-13 02:16 am (UTC)Probably in part because of the legacy of over-medication (which, as you say, was mostly of kids who DID need medication, but were getting doses too high), honestly. I was functional enough, you know? I just needed to learn to be more careful at maths. (I did. I learned to triple check everything. It didn't stop the errors, which is why I'm pretty sure dyscalculia is the problem, not JUST ADHD. I only survived calculus and physics with good grades because of professors valuing conceptual understanding and giving partial credit.)
I'm not bitter, but I do still wonder what life would've been like. God knows I will give up my methylphenidate (ie, Concerta) when you pry it from my cold dead hands, as with it I CAN ACTUALLY THINK AND MAKE MY BRAIN WORK AND I DON'T HAVE TO MAKE MYSELF SHAKY FROM CAFFEINE OVERDOSE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN AT WILL.