commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
Hog's Back Falls, yesterday, water rushing over the falls:

BBQ in Gatineau Park, today, LIKE A JACK LONDON HERO:

First selfie of spring — Cat, me, and Ian on the bridge over Hog's Back:
commodorified: My hair, flying in the wind, and my right arm, in sunlight (Default)
Poll #16615 Tomato-basil sausage corndog
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 59

Tomato. Basil. Sausage. Corndogs.

View Answers

Hell yeah!
6 (10.2%)

4 (6.8%)

9 (15.3%)

8 (13.6%)

Hell no!
4 (6.8%)

Are they bioregional?
4 (6.8%)

Now you're just making shit up, Nightingale.
10 (16.9%)

Hipsters gonna hip.
14 (23.7%)

commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
for BadBang4, because I was foolish enough to browse the requests and got hooked.

The glorious [personal profile] brownbetty egged me on, tossed in numerous valuable bits of Canadian History to abuse, and provided the fantastic1 fanart.

Does what it says on the (rusted, lead-lined) tin. You have been warned. We will not cover your therapy.

KEEPIN' IT RIEL - A STORY OF LOVE, POLITICS AND HOCKEY IN THREE <strike>PERIODS</strike> ACTS (5111 words) by Betty, MarnaNightingale
Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Canadian Historical RPF, Canadian History RPF

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Other Warnings May Apply

Relationships: John A MacDonald/Louis Riel, John A MacDonald/Thomas D'arcy McGee, John A MacDonald/Thomas D'Arcy McGee/Louis Riel, Lower Canada/Upper Canada, Thomas D'Arcy McGee/Third Rebel

Characters: The Right Honourable Sir John A. McDonald, Thomas D'Arcy McGee, Louis Riel, Two Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Two Northwest Mounted Police, A Busboy, William Lyon MacKenzie King's Dog, A Pigeon, Six Quebecois Rebels, Ghost of Louis-Joseph Papineau, The Honourable George Brown, James Cockburn, General Sir William Dillon Otter, Ghost of the Mother of William Lyon MacKenzie King (A Referee), Divers Fenians, An Innkeeper (probably also a rebel), An Innkeeper's Boy (will grow up to be a hockey-playing rebel), Unoriginal Male Characters

Additional Tags: Deliberately Bad Fic, Bad Bang, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, scotch jokes, jokes in French, Scots jokes, french jokes, Irish jokes, Hockey, Bad Research, bad chronology, bad characterisation, bad politics, Bad Romance, Upper Canadian concrete and glass, Manitoba Schools Act, Prime Ministers Hiding In Cupboards, Bill 101, self-debauching pigeons, self-debauching politicians, honourable members, right honourable members, Ghosts, Riel talk, Riel trouble, the French are revolting, The Fenians are revolting, the Metis are revolting, insensitive references to Sir John Franklin, Arr Metis, Curling, hurling, Lacrosse, Deliberately Bad Fanart, Franglais, Bon Cop Bad Cop references, Who are you calling poutine? - Freeform, Do not ask me about icing, or highsticking, Dammit I forgot to include a yacht race - Freeform, A full pardon for Louis Riel and reparations for the residential schools, Chester Brown should never read this - Freeform, James Mcnamee should never read this - Freeform, but everyone should read James Mcnamee and Chester Brown, The Yankee to the south of us must south of us remain, I feel like there are a lot of holes in this plot., Kate Beaton is a national treasure, Gordon Lightfoot, Stan Rogers, arcade fire, Captain Tractor, Stompin' Tom, DOA - Freeform, you're more likely to be killed by a moose than by a terrorist, remember when men were men pigeons were pigeons and Tories weren't completely evil?, Frenglish, PLZ R & R (read and revolt)


The year is 1875, and Louis Riel is exiled for crimes against the government of Canada. The railroad heads west, and Manitoba is finally surveyed and properly blocked off into little boxes for Ottawa.

In the winter of 1876, Sir John A. Macdonald is advised of the shift of public opinion. A passionate series of letters to the newspapers is inciting the Quebecois, lighting a rebellious fire in their eyes. It’s just shy of ninety years since the French revolted in Europe, but it is not far from the minds of the Senate or Legislature when their resident French population’s blood is stirring so patriotically in their veins.

Under duress, Sir John A. Macdonald calls on the one man he knows can make any revolution fail--former MP Louis Riel.

Louis Riel accepts too eagerly, heading straight into Ottawa, and arrives in Macdonald’s office at gunpoint.

1 It actually *is* fantastic fanart; I love her faces a lot.
commodorified: My hair, flying in the wind, and my right arm, in sunlight (Default)
Wendy Cope, as I just dug these up for other purposes.

Waste Land Limericks:


In April one seldom feels cheerful;
Dry stones, sun and dust make me fearful;
Clairvoyantes distress me,
Commuters depress me--
Met Stetson and gave him an earful.


She sat on a mighty fine chair,
Sparks flew as she tidied her hair;
She asks many questions,
I make few suggestions--
Bad as Albert and Lil--what a pair!


The Thames runs, bones rattle, rats creep;
Tiresias fancies a peep--
A typist is laid,
A record is played--
Wei la la. After this it gets deep.


A Phoenician named Phlebas forgot
About birds and his business--the lot,
Which is no surprise,
Since he'd met his demise
And been left in the ocean to rot.


No water. Dry rocks and dry throats,
Then thunder, a shower of quotes
From the Sanskrit and Dante.
Da. Damyata. Shantih.
I hope you'll make sense of the notes.


Mar. 31st, 2015 05:57 pm
commodorified: I wish I could like the look of the immediate future. But I don't.  (immediate future)
I will not be attending WisCon 2015.

As many of you already know, my allergies have been getting worse over the past few years, especially in spring, especially in Madison, especially especially in Madison in spring.

WisCon takes place ... in Madison, in spring.

Of my last four WisCons ... 2011 I coughed so much I sprained a rib. Admittedly, I stayed an extra week to visit friends, but ... a RIB.

2012 was a dry year, and I was basically fine (by which I mean I remember me and Mel recruiting people to go to CVS with us so we could buy extra pseudoephinedrine, but that's normal for me in spring.)

2013 I left the con and spent one night in a private home and ended up in Urgent Care and Cat had to change her plans and mine and half-carry me home, where I spent a week in bed.

2014, despite basically not leaving the hotel and its AC at all I missed most of the con due to allergy attacks, and in particular had to run out of Hiromi Goto's awesome GOH speech and missed NK Jemisin's ENTIRELY, because I was coughing fit to wreck everybody's enjoyment.

So, until I've got a few more rounds of allergy serum under my skin, WisCon and I are taking a break from one another, because even for the completely awesome WisCon Access folks, "May I please have a spacesuit with a self-contained breathing apparatus for the weekend?" is perhaps going just a bit far ... also they're very hard to sleep in I suspect.

I am going to miss it horribly, and I am going to miss all of you terribly.

I was especially looking forward to this year's con because I am very interested to see where the new ConCom is going to take things and I really wanted to be there volunteering, panelling and generally supporting that. I will be hanging out on twitter, wishing you all well and being as supportive as possible from there.

Offers to FaceTime me from the front rows of the Inevitable Late Night Drunken Slash panel gratefully received.
commodorified: They say one thing and another thing and both at once I don't know It will all have to be gone into at the proper time (at the proper time)
Who are not [personal profile] graydon:

Have you considered including pangolins in your next book?

If not, why not?

Capybaras are also acceptable.

If these recommendations prove impossible to implement, please consider the advantages of the platypus as an animal which already looks as if it was built by a committee of amateur sorcerers. Surely your fiction can embrace this possibility handily.
commodorified: My hair, flying in the wind, and my right arm, in sunlight (Default)
Part of a healthy "dealing with pain and queasiness the best you can" diet.


Mar. 16th, 2015 11:34 pm
commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
Dear Lyrics Sites: There are funny Canadian songs that aren't by the Arrogant Worms. SRSLY.


And I'll just leave this here:

commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
So here is arguably[1] the most Canadian thing ever, which is the much-lamented DOA covering Takin' Care Of Business while playing hockey.[2]


[1] If you're going to argue[3] you have to back it up with YouTube. NO EXCEPTIONS.

[2] because of COURSE the whole band can play hockey.

[3] If I had a nickel for every time I realise have to go back and rephrase a thing so that nobody will feel compelled to 'splain at me in comments, I could drink better booze, not gonna lie.
commodorified: And now all road are uncommonly flat, and all hair stands on end. (roads uncommonly flat)
I met him at ConCept in Montreal, in the mid-90s.

I was walking down a hallway with two boffer swords and he asked me what they were. I told him, and he said "could I have a go?" as if he couldn't think of a greater treat.

And we fought a very slow and ceremonious duel, right there in the hallway.

His grin covered most of his face, and I'm sure mine did as well.

I don't recall who won; I don't know if either of us did.

He thanked me very politely, tipped his hat to me, and went on his way, leaving me with a memory I intend to hang onto for the rest of my life, with both hands.
commodorified: cropped pic of woman with short curly red hair looking up  impishly from the lower left corner (femme)
Is there a person

1) going to MJ

2) Willing to buy me a tube of Besame Red Velvet Lipstick

3) And give it to my wife, [personal profile] fairestcat, who will then pay you back (or PayPal you upfront if you need that)?

It can be gotten online at their website, but shipping to Canada is nigh-impossible and painfully overpriced, as always.

It is also available at Sephora, but the Canadian Sephoras only have the face powder. (Which I got today and which is amazeballs omg)
commodorified: My hair, flying in the wind, and my right arm, in sunlight (Default)
The Terry Pratchett Award for Best Humourous Fantasy Novel?
commodorified: And now all road are uncommonly flat, and all hair stands on end. (roads uncommonly flat)
“No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man
commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
[profile] benet: today I received an email blast from Nature Ganganbaigal, lead singer of Tengger Cavalry.
It's a stage-name.
[profile] benet: the #2 hypothesis was that Mr. and Mrs. Ganganbaigal, late of Beijing, were big hippies.
[personal profile] commodorified: "my parents named me Serenity MoonChild but I go by BloodEagle McCoy".
[personal profile] commodorified: I mean, bear in mind, I have a weird name and was born in 1969.
[profile] benet: right.
[personal profile] commodorified: I meet women my age called, like, Pippin and there's this LOOK we all have.
[profile] benet: In twenty-odd years there are going to be some very testy Khaleesis and Tyrions.
[profile] benet: I mean, sometimes these make some kind of phase transition and just become unexceptionable names, like Amber after _Forever Amber_.
[personal profile] commodorified: yeah.
[profile] benet: Madison post-_Splash_ is most of the way along the same trajectory.
[personal profile] commodorified: Madison is cute and all but I can't see "Wisconsin" as a middle name so.
[profile] benet: yeah, or "Avenue".
[personal profile] commodorified: that would be right out.
[personal profile] commodorified: If I'm naming a kid after a city it'll be, IDK, Toronto.
[personal profile] commodorified: Saskatoon.
[personal profile] commodorified: Medicine Ha - no.
[profile] benet: Flin Flon.
[personal profile] commodorified: Kapuskasing.
[profile] benet: I think Kapuskasing has a vaguely patrician New England feel to it.
[profile] benet: "Pleased to meet you, I'm Kapuskasing Routledge Lowell."
[personal profile] commodorified: True, true.
[personal profile] commodorified: And, of course, St John has a history.
[profile] benet: yeah.
[personal profile] commodorified: St John's less so.
[profile] benet: indeed.
[personal profile] commodorified: Halifax.
[personal profile] commodorified: Halifax Nightingale.
[profile] benet: it just sounds like a code-name for an invasion of something.
[personal profile] commodorified: Well, IT WOULD BE.
[profile] benet: "Vat can you tell me ... about _Halifax Nightingale_, Englischer Schweinhund?"
[personal profile] commodorified: ...
[personal profile] commodorified: Timmins
[profile] benet: Timmins Margaux

[personal profile] brownbetty: Winnipeg. White Horse. Gimli
[personal profile] commodorified: NOT GIMLI. Yellowknife?

[personal profile] fairestcat:we are not naming our child 1 Halifax
[personal profile] commodorified: Okay
[personal profile] fairestcat: or Kapuskasing
[personal profile] commodorified: But

[personal profile] staranise: ... if I get another tortoiseshell or calico cat I'm naming it Nanaimo Bar.

ETA2: (Yelled across the hallway)
[personal profile] commodorified
[personal profile] fairestcat: no.
[personal profile] commodorified: Kamloops?
[personal profile] fairestcat: NO.
[personal profile] commodorified: Penticton!
[personal profile] fairestcat: Penticton Meier?
[personal profile] commodorified Kelowna Nightingale?
[personal profile] fairestcat: That's not bad ...


[personal profile] staranise: Castlegar would make a very impressive WASPy middle name
Benjamin Castlegar Nightingale III


[personal profile] dira:*giggles*
Penticton could go by Pen.
Pen Meier
[personal profile] fairestcat: Pen Meier has some potential
Castlegar could be fit into the traditional CMM pattern
Castlegar M Meier


[personal profile] staranise: Camrose?
[personal profile] commodorified: hmmm
[personal profile] staranise: I know, right?

1) Nobody is pregnant, there is no cause for alarm at this time. Remain calm.
commodorified: text: you really musn't expect me to be Christian in two directions at once.  (my last nerve)
Poll #16508 The Plague, Part Wev
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 52

So apparently not even a throat so sore your doctor swabbed you for strep gets you out of having to eat a food occasionally if you don't want to feel horrible.

View Answers

... seems legit
27 (51.9%)

No, wait, how is that possible? I demand a recount!
25 (48.1%)

commodorified: A cartoon of a worried looking woman in a chef's hat (cooking for people who don't)
About living with an Optimiser without losing your mind.

Said thread having left me with an irresistible urge to tell people how I think onions are best cut. As this is high on the list of Worst Things I Could Do over there - quite right, too - I have come back here to do it.

So, these are My Opinions:

0) Dried onions and frozen onions - which in Canada can be bought in large bags at M&M Meats, among other places - are terribly under-appreciated.

1) Always use your very sharpest non-serrated blade. The onion juice that makes you cry is released by crushing the flesh of the onion, so the more you minimise this the less irritant is released.

2) Putting the onion in the fridge for an hour -or the freezer for ten minutes, but don't forget about it - before you cut it does, actually, help.

3) Keeping your mouth tightly shut from the moment you cut into the onion until you walk away from the cutting board helps a lot, but if you once open your mouth it stops working. I do not know why this is so.

4) Cut the ends off first, so that you have flat spots to stand the onion on rather than it being able to roll around. This may save your fingers if you do get teary-eyed.

5) When you put them into the pan to cook, starting them off on low and increasing the heat in stages will minimise the amount of onion juice that gets into the air to irritate your eyes.

6) If you do end up with streaming eyes, rinse out your mouth and nostrils, not your eyes. Putting a cool washcloth over your eyes is soothing and gets your lashes clean, but your eyes are already cleaning themselves.

7) Food processors are not, in my opinion, suitable for chopping onions due to an excess of crushing activity and subsequent fumes.

Please share your opinions about onions freely - with impeccable courtesy and bountiful goodwill - in the comments. Anonymous commenting is on (on DW) but screened, please do sign your anonymous comment in some fashion; initials, nicknames, etc. are just fine, I just want to be able to tell y'all apart.

n.b. Rice Cookers may also be discussed.
commodorified: cartoon moose wearing a Mountie uniform. Text; "eh." (canadian moose)
I made this for [personal profile] kd5mdk, who despite living in Austin, TX, is a serious hockey fan.

When he was up here visiting we tried and failed to make it to women's hockey and to a Marlies game, so eventually went to see the Soo Greyhounds at the Niagara Ice Dogs (OHL), which turned out to be a great decision as it was a HOPPING game - the final score was 8-6 Niagara and we had the excellent luck to be seated just in front of Geezer Row, from which we got high quality colour commentary.

Originally I left off some stuff that would normally have gone on because I knew he already had it, so this is a modified version of the original playlist. I'm quite proud of the cover art :-)

Hockey Night In Texas

Non-music tracks are in [square brackets]
Hockey Night In Canada: Naturally 7
[Montreal at Chicago: Bob Cole]
Frozen Puck To The Head: Captain Tractor
I'm Shipping Up To Boston: Dropkick Murphys
Helmethead: Great Big Sea
Takin' Care of Business: Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Bleed American: Jimmy Eat World
[Hockey Fight: Foster Hewitt]
We Will Rock You: Queen
[Intermission/Rock and Roll 2: Danny Gallivan/Sound Effects/Gary Glitter]
Gretzky Rocks: The Pursuit Of Happiness
The Hockey Song: Stompin' Tom Connors
[Canadiens at Leafs: Foster Hewitt]
Hockey: Jane Siberry
Big League: Tom Cochrane
Flying: Stan Rogers
Fifty Mission Cap: The Tragically Hip
Wake Up: The Arcade Fire
[Canadiens at Maple Leafs: Dan Kelly]
The Lonely End of the Rink: The Tragically Hip
commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
I meant to post this much sooner, and also to annotate it fetchingly and informatively, but it's been a bit mad around here, even before I got sick, and while I am much improved I'm still wheezy and achy and not at my most clever.

If you ask me about particular tracks, though, that will doubtless trigger comments - it's sitting down and doing the whole thing unprompted that's beyond me. So please do; I have Things To Say.

My definition of folk music is rather loose; my definition of Canadian considerably more strict.

CanFolk2015: 47 songs, one for each voter in the mixtape poll.

*blows smooches*

Sleepy Maggie: Ashley MacIsaac
Light Enough to Travel: The Be Good Tanyas
La Complainte du Phoque en Alaska: Beau Dommage
Sleep In Late: Big Sugar
You Can Come From Here: Bourbon Tabernacle Choir
The Coldest Night Of The Year: Bruce Cockburn
Logdriver's Waltz: Captain Tractor
Black Eyed Susan: Doug McArthur
Merlin: Doug McArthur and Garnet Rogers
Henry Martin: Figgy Duff
Summer Lightning: Garnet Rogers with Doug Long
Early Morning Rain: Gordon Lightfoot
I'se the B'y: Great Big Sea
Lukey: Great Big Sea
Dondaine: Groovy Aardvark
Cold Missouri Waters: James Keelaghan
Turn Of The Wheel: James Keelaghan
Hockey: Jane Siberry
Love Is Everything: Jane Siberry
Lay Your Burden Down: Jennifer Noxon
Slouching Toward Bethlehem: Joni Mitchell
Helpless: k.d. lang
A Case Of You: k.d. lang
Little Boxes (Petites Boites): Kate & Anna McGarrigle
C'est Une Jeune Mariée: Le Vent Du Nord
Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen
Dance Me To The End Of Love: Leonard Cohen
The Highwayman: Loreena McKennitt
Temagami Round: Marie-Lynn Hammond
I Don't Sleep With Strangers Anymore: Marie-Lynn Hammond
Leonard Cohen's Never Gonna Bring My Groceries In: Nancy White
Old Man: Neil Young
Helpless: Neil Young
Gold In Them Hills: Ron Sexsmith
Save This House: Spirit Of The West
The Old Sod: Spirit of the West
Rolling Down To Old Maui: Stan Rogers
Fisherman's Wharf: Stan Rogers
The Nancy: Stan Rogers
The Assassin's Apprentice: Stephen Fearing
Sudbury Saturday Night: Stompin' Tom Connors
The Coal Boat Song: Stompin' Tom Connors
Billy In the Lowground: Stringband
Tugboats: Stringband
Fox - Tiriganiak: Tagaq
Carey - Universal Honey
Deeper Well: The Wailin' Jennys

Cough Drop

Feb. 22nd, 2015 03:12 am
commodorified: A cartoon of a worried looking woman in a chef's hat (cooking for people who don't)
In a cup, combine

2 T honey and
1 T lemon juice

Microwave for 45 seconds and add

1.5 oz vodka.

Apply to raw throat and shredded lungs.
commodorified: very worried stuffed crocodile clutching a pillow (not coping)
The good news: I have five days worth of prednisone for my lungs.

The bad news: I have five days worth of prednisone for my lungs.



commodorified: My hair, flying in the wind, and my right arm, in sunlight (Default)

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