Mar. 16th, 2015 11:34 pm
commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
Dear Lyrics Sites: There are funny Canadian songs that aren't by the Arrogant Worms. SRSLY.


And I'll just leave this here:

commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
So here is arguably[1] the most Canadian thing ever, which is the much-lamented DOA covering Takin' Care Of Business while playing hockey.[2]


[1] If you're going to argue[3] you have to back it up with YouTube. NO EXCEPTIONS.

[2] because of COURSE the whole band can play hockey.

[3] If I had a nickel for every time I realise have to go back and rephrase a thing so that nobody will feel compelled to 'splain at me in comments, I could drink better booze, not gonna lie.
commodorified: And now all road are uncommonly flat, and all hair stands on end. (roads uncommonly flat)
I met him at ConCept in Montreal, in the mid-90s.

I was walking down a hallway with two boffer swords and he asked me what they were. I told him, and he said "could I have a go?" as if he couldn't think of a greater treat.

And we fought a very slow and ceremonious duel, right there in the hallway.

His grin covered most of his face, and I'm sure mine did as well.

I don't recall who won; I don't know if either of us did.

He thanked me very politely, tipped his hat to me, and went on his way, leaving me with a memory I intend to hang onto for the rest of my life, with both hands.
commodorified: cropped pic of woman with short curly red hair looking up  impishly from the lower left corner (femme)
Is there a person

1) going to MJ

2) Willing to buy me a tube of Besame Red Velvet Lipstick

3) And give it to my wife, [personal profile] fairestcat, who will then pay you back (or PayPal you upfront if you need that)?

It can be gotten online at their website, but shipping to Canada is nigh-impossible and painfully overpriced, as always.

It is also available at Sephora, but the Canadian Sephoras only have the face powder. (Which I got today and which is amazeballs omg)
commodorified: My hair, flying in the wind, and my right arm, in sunlight (Default)
The Terry Pratchett Award for Best Humourous Fantasy Novel?
commodorified: And now all road are uncommonly flat, and all hair stands on end. (roads uncommonly flat)
“No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man
commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
[profile] benet: today I received an email blast from Nature Ganganbaigal, lead singer of Tengger Cavalry.
It's a stage-name.
[profile] benet: the #2 hypothesis was that Mr. and Mrs. Ganganbaigal, late of Beijing, were big hippies.
[personal profile] commodorified: "my parents named me Serenity MoonChild but I go by BloodEagle McCoy".
[personal profile] commodorified: I mean, bear in mind, I have a weird name and was born in 1969.
[profile] benet: right.
[personal profile] commodorified: I meet women my age called, like, Pippin and there's this LOOK we all have.
[profile] benet: In twenty-odd years there are going to be some very testy Khaleesis and Tyrions.
[profile] benet: I mean, sometimes these make some kind of phase transition and just become unexceptionable names, like Amber after _Forever Amber_.
[personal profile] commodorified: yeah.
[profile] benet: Madison post-_Splash_ is most of the way along the same trajectory.
[personal profile] commodorified: Madison is cute and all but I can't see "Wisconsin" as a middle name so.
[profile] benet: yeah, or "Avenue".
[personal profile] commodorified: that would be right out.
[personal profile] commodorified: If I'm naming a kid after a city it'll be, IDK, Toronto.
[personal profile] commodorified: Saskatoon.
[personal profile] commodorified: Medicine Ha - no.
[profile] benet: Flin Flon.
[personal profile] commodorified: Kapuskasing.
[profile] benet: I think Kapuskasing has a vaguely patrician New England feel to it.
[profile] benet: "Pleased to meet you, I'm Kapuskasing Routledge Lowell."
[personal profile] commodorified: True, true.
[personal profile] commodorified: And, of course, St John has a history.
[profile] benet: yeah.
[personal profile] commodorified: St John's less so.
[profile] benet: indeed.
[personal profile] commodorified: Halifax.
[personal profile] commodorified: Halifax Nightingale.
[profile] benet: it just sounds like a code-name for an invasion of something.
[personal profile] commodorified: Well, IT WOULD BE.
[profile] benet: "Vat can you tell me ... about _Halifax Nightingale_, Englischer Schweinhund?"
[personal profile] commodorified: ...
[personal profile] commodorified: Timmins
[profile] benet: Timmins Margaux

[personal profile] brownbetty: Winnipeg. White Horse. Gimli
[personal profile] commodorified: NOT GIMLI. Yellowknife?

[personal profile] fairestcat:we are not naming our child 1 Halifax
[personal profile] commodorified: Okay
[personal profile] fairestcat: or Kapuskasing
[personal profile] commodorified: But

[personal profile] staranise: ... if I get another tortoiseshell or calico cat I'm naming it Nanaimo Bar.

ETA2: (Yelled across the hallway)
[personal profile] commodorified
[personal profile] fairestcat: no.
[personal profile] commodorified: Kamloops?
[personal profile] fairestcat: NO.
[personal profile] commodorified: Penticton!
[personal profile] fairestcat: Penticton Meier?
[personal profile] commodorified Kelowna Nightingale?
[personal profile] fairestcat: That's not bad ...


[personal profile] staranise: Castlegar would make a very impressive WASPy middle name
Benjamin Castlegar Nightingale III


[personal profile] dira:*giggles*
Penticton could go by Pen.
Pen Meier
[personal profile] fairestcat: Pen Meier has some potential
Castlegar could be fit into the traditional CMM pattern
Castlegar M Meier


[personal profile] staranise: Camrose?
[personal profile] commodorified: hmmm
[personal profile] staranise: I know, right?

1) Nobody is pregnant, there is no cause for alarm at this time. Remain calm.
commodorified: text: you really musn't expect me to be Christian in two directions at once.  (my last nerve)
Poll #16508 The Plague, Part Wev
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 52

So apparently not even a throat so sore your doctor swabbed you for strep gets you out of having to eat a food occasionally if you don't want to feel horrible.

View Answers

... seems legit
27 (51.9%)

No, wait, how is that possible? I demand a recount!
25 (48.1%)

commodorified: A cartoon of a worried looking woman in a chef's hat (cooking for people who don't)
About living with an Optimiser without losing your mind.

Said thread having left me with an irresistible urge to tell people how I think onions are best cut. As this is high on the list of Worst Things I Could Do over there - quite right, too - I have come back here to do it.

So, these are My Opinions:

0) Dried onions and frozen onions - which in Canada can be bought in large bags at M&M Meats, among other places - are terribly under-appreciated.

1) Always use your very sharpest non-serrated blade. The onion juice that makes you cry is released by crushing the flesh of the onion, so the more you minimise this the less irritant is released.

2) Putting the onion in the fridge for an hour -or the freezer for ten minutes, but don't forget about it - before you cut it does, actually, help.

3) Keeping your mouth tightly shut from the moment you cut into the onion until you walk away from the cutting board helps a lot, but if you once open your mouth it stops working. I do not know why this is so.

4) Cut the ends off first, so that you have flat spots to stand the onion on rather than it being able to roll around. This may save your fingers if you do get teary-eyed.

5) When you put them into the pan to cook, starting them off on low and increasing the heat in stages will minimise the amount of onion juice that gets into the air to irritate your eyes.

6) If you do end up with streaming eyes, rinse out your mouth and nostrils, not your eyes. Putting a cool washcloth over your eyes is soothing and gets your lashes clean, but your eyes are already cleaning themselves.

7) Food processors are not, in my opinion, suitable for chopping onions due to an excess of crushing activity and subsequent fumes.

Please share your opinions about onions freely - with impeccable courtesy and bountiful goodwill - in the comments. Anonymous commenting is on (on DW) but screened, please do sign your anonymous comment in some fashion; initials, nicknames, etc. are just fine, I just want to be able to tell y'all apart.

n.b. Rice Cookers may also be discussed.
commodorified: cartoon moose wearing a Mountie uniform. Text; "eh." (canadian moose)
I made this for [personal profile] kd5mdk, who despite living in Austin, TX, is a serious hockey fan.

When he was up here visiting we tried and failed to make it to women's hockey and to a Marlies game, so eventually went to see the Soo Greyhounds at the Niagara Ice Dogs (OHL), which turned out to be a great decision as it was a HOPPING game - the final score was 8-6 Niagara and we had the excellent luck to be seated just in front of Geezer Row, from which we got high quality colour commentary.

Originally I left off some stuff that would normally have gone on because I knew he already had it, so this is a modified version of the original playlist. I'm quite proud of the cover art :-)

Hockey Night In Texas

Non-music tracks are in [square brackets]
Hockey Night In Canada: Naturally 7
[Montreal at Chicago: Bob Cole]
Frozen Puck To The Head: Captain Tractor
I'm Shipping Up To Boston: Dropkick Murphys
Helmethead: Great Big Sea
Takin' Care of Business: Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Bleed American: Jimmy Eat World
[Hockey Fight: Foster Hewitt]
We Will Rock You: Queen
[Intermission/Rock and Roll 2: Danny Gallivan/Sound Effects/Gary Glitter]
Gretzky Rocks: The Pursuit Of Happiness
The Hockey Song: Stompin' Tom Connors
[Canadiens at Leafs: Foster Hewitt]
Hockey: Jane Siberry
Big League: Tom Cochrane
Flying: Stan Rogers
Fifty Mission Cap: The Tragically Hip
Wake Up: The Arcade Fire
[Canadiens at Maple Leafs: Dan Kelly]
The Lonely End of the Rink: The Tragically Hip
commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
I meant to post this much sooner, and also to annotate it fetchingly and informatively, but it's been a bit mad around here, even before I got sick, and while I am much improved I'm still wheezy and achy and not at my most clever.

If you ask me about particular tracks, though, that will doubtless trigger comments - it's sitting down and doing the whole thing unprompted that's beyond me. So please do; I have Things To Say.

My definition of folk music is rather loose; my definition of Canadian considerably more strict.

CanFolk2015: 47 songs, one for each voter in the mixtape poll.

*blows smooches*

Sleepy Maggie: Ashley MacIsaac
Light Enough to Travel: The Be Good Tanyas
La Complainte du Phoque en Alaska: Beau Dommage
Sleep In Late: Big Sugar
You Can Come From Here: Bourbon Tabernacle Choir
The Coldest Night Of The Year: Bruce Cockburn
Logdriver's Waltz: Captain Tractor
Black Eyed Susan: Doug McArthur
Merlin: Doug McArthur and Garnet Rogers
Henry Martin: Figgy Duff
Summer Lightning: Garnet Rogers with Doug Long
Early Morning Rain: Gordon Lightfoot
I'se the B'y: Great Big Sea
Lukey: Great Big Sea
Dondaine: Groovy Aardvark
Cold Missouri Waters: James Keelaghan
Turn Of The Wheel: James Keelaghan
Hockey: Jane Siberry
Love Is Everything: Jane Siberry
Lay Your Burden Down: Jennifer Noxon
Slouching Toward Bethlehem: Joni Mitchell
Helpless: k.d. lang
A Case Of You: k.d. lang
Little Boxes (Petites Boites): Kate & Anna McGarrigle
C'est Une Jeune Mariée: Le Vent Du Nord
Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen
Dance Me To The End Of Love: Leonard Cohen
The Highwayman: Loreena McKennitt
Temagami Round: Marie-Lynn Hammond
I Don't Sleep With Strangers Anymore: Marie-Lynn Hammond
Leonard Cohen's Never Gonna Bring My Groceries In: Nancy White
Old Man: Neil Young
Helpless: Neil Young
Gold In Them Hills: Ron Sexsmith
Save This House: Spirit Of The West
The Old Sod: Spirit of the West
Rolling Down To Old Maui: Stan Rogers
Fisherman's Wharf: Stan Rogers
The Nancy: Stan Rogers
The Assassin's Apprentice: Stephen Fearing
Sudbury Saturday Night: Stompin' Tom Connors
The Coal Boat Song: Stompin' Tom Connors
Billy In the Lowground: Stringband
Tugboats: Stringband
Fox - Tiriganiak: Tagaq
Carey - Universal Honey
Deeper Well: The Wailin' Jennys

Cough Drop

Feb. 22nd, 2015 03:12 am
commodorified: A cartoon of a worried looking woman in a chef's hat (cooking for people who don't)
In a cup, combine

2 T honey and
1 T lemon juice

Microwave for 45 seconds and add

1.5 oz vodka.

Apply to raw throat and shredded lungs.
commodorified: very worried stuffed crocodile clutching a pillow (not coping)
The good news: I have five days worth of prednisone for my lungs.

The bad news: I have five days worth of prednisone for my lungs.

commodorified: crop from Waterhouse painting of the Lady Of Shallott: Text: "Bugger alle thys for a lark, I'm going to ye pubbe"  (bugger all thys)
1) I am unconditionally in favour of Moar Femslash, but while I am in awe of the amazing and creative ways in which writers make Joan Watson/Moriarty work, Moriarty does not deserve nice things, and Joan Watson is a very nice thing. Result: frustration.

2) I told [personal profile] fairestcat and [personal profile] fajrdrako that I needed to post this: I am forever condemned to be A Fake Comics Geek, for I will never have a pull box. Because I read my wife's comics and genuinely cannot think of a situation where I'd want to read something she wasn't reading often enough to get my own box.

3) I am genuinely impressed by this week's Castle and how it managed not to Do The Sexist Tropey Thing this week. I was all ready to be furious and ended up going You Brilliant Bastards.
commodorified: My hair, flying in the wind, and my right arm, in sunlight (Default)
But the fender-bender we had a couple of weeks back has resulted in the insurance company writing off the car.

We are four not very small adults, with outdoorsy hobbies which sometimes involve winter backroad travel carrying gear, and have hopes of eventual family expansion.


If you have or have had a station wagon you really like, please tell me about it, in detail.


Feb. 4th, 2015 12:40 pm
commodorified: My hair, flying in the wind, and my right arm, in sunlight (Default)
My purse - and phone - have been stolen. And I'm in Toronto oh it's just lovely especially for poor [personal profile] kd5mdk who had to deal with a quietly hysterical GF all of last night.

I may or may not be able to get my contacts back eventually, but meanwhile please give me your contact info again, if you think I ought to have it.

Comments are screened.

Thanks, all.
commodorified: an image of an old woodenhulled icebreaker in a narrow open channel (northwest passage)
Poll #16371 MIXTAPE
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 47

Would you like a mixtape?

44 (95.7%)

0 (0.0%)

What's a "tape", Grandma?
2 (4.3%)

Which mixtape[s] would you like?

17 (37.0%)

19 (41.3%)

S.A.D. you can dance to
25 (54.3%)

Canadian Folk
29 (63.0%)

All will be well, and all shall be well
30 (65.2%)

No, sorry, you have to pick:

6 (12.8%)

6 (12.8%)

S.A.D. you can dance to
11 (23.4%)

Canadian Folk
15 (31.9%)

All will be well, and all shall be well
9 (19.1%)

commodorified: the words Anglican Socialist Weirdo on a Green and Yellow abstract background (Anglican Socialist Weirdo)
The awesome Kate Hunt has written an article about our feral cat colony, and about feral cat management in general, for the Centretown Buzz.

Includes pictures of her own Arthur J Raffles, who we were lucky enough to be able to
place with her a year or so back, and Sage The Wonder Kitten, looking slightly more psycho than usual.

Sage has a forever home now, I'm glad to say.

I think we would all recommend the Daily Grind on Somerset West for all your "prolonged caffeine-soaked brunch while doing an interview" needs, by the way.
commodorified: All my friends tell me I actually exist, and by an act of faith I have come to believe them (friends)
So I post these things because I am surrounded by ridiculously smart and funny people who make me look witty.

You can get more Benet at his livejournal, (I keep trying to get him to DW but what can you do) which oddly enough is or you can read his natural history blog, which is at or you can follow him on twitter: @aleph3

Leave him comments: I'm trying to get him to post more, and comments are good for that.
commodorified: where in this small-talking world can I find a longitude with no platitude? (a little MORE conversation)
it's been up for over a week, and I'm still inordinately amused by the Toast's 'Bible Verses Where 'Thou Shalt Not' has been Replaced by 'can u not'.

Exodus 20:17
“Can u not covet thy neighbour’s house, can u not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s. can u just not."

(time passes)

[personal profile] commodorified:
Sorry, there were small children
Did you know there is A MONSTER at the end of this book?

no but I can't say I'm surprised

[personal profile] commodorified:
I feel like Oscar and Vivien are recklessly unconcerned with the possible consequences here

if there were *two* monsters, that'd be a twist worthy of M. Night Shamwow

[personal profile] commodorified:

it's just like _Alien vs. Predator_.
but with more felt.

[personal profile] commodorified:
The Monster At The End Of This Book.
It's an app.

not showing up in the Play store.. sure it's not iOS only?

(A series of remarks through which we establish that this app is, as yet, only available for iOS and Kindle omitted)

yeah, Amazon's recent devices are their own weird-ass Android distro, there's a lot of stuff that only works there.

they also keep trying to hire me to work on them, which they'll have to go buy in the Nope Store

[personal profile] commodorified:
Can I get a tank for my Nopetopus there?

and food for your nopefish
basically it's like Uber, but for nope

[personal profile] commodorified:
Wait, they'll come and pick me up and DRIVE me to nope?

well, not necessarily. It's just, you know. Disrupty!

[personal profile] commodorified:
So I want to start an Uber for bicycle-rickshaws
Ok I don't. I want someone else to.

Will they deliver piping-hot artisinal Nope to my door in 30 minutes or it's free?
Cause there's a market for that.

I mean, given that the site which used to let you deliver bees to people you don't like has gone dark
you remember,
I don't think glitter really cuts it, next to live bees

[personal profile] commodorified:
Well the bees are vanishing.
Why would you send bees to people you dislike?
Bees should be for people you really love

well, you know.. *angry* bees.

[personal profile] commodorified:
Are you sure they're not just misunderstood?


[personal profile] commodorified:
It all sounds dodgy

I honestly feel like wasps are misunderstood.
I mean, everyone is mostly on board now with the idea that bees are not aggressive.

[personal profile] commodorified:
I honestly am not the person to change that.

but in my experience you really have to get up in a wasp's grill before it'll sting you

[personal profile] commodorified:
Well, okay. See, my problem is that they think "having sweet things and not sharing" is getting up in said grill

well true

[personal profile] commodorified:
Along with "smelling like soft and dri"

but I've taken some extreme close-ups of wasps and they just let me do it.

[personal profile] commodorified:
i mean, there are different types

these are all valid cases, but I would hold it's still a ways from the whole "wasps will sting you because yolo" thing I see come 'round of Facebook every few months

[personal profile] commodorified:
I'm not joining the Friends Of Yellowjackets anytime soon


[personal profile] commodorified:
i think the problem is partly they'll build on houses and are territorial.

(later that evening):

[personal profile] commodorified:


“So the haters were subdued and they stopped invading Israel’s territory. Throughout Samuel’s lifetime, the hand of the Lord was against the haters.”



"Can u not pray like the hypocrites"


commodorified: My hair, flying in the wind, and my right arm, in sunlight (Default)

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