commodorified | Problems, unqualified and undisclaimed.

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I realised tonight that I have, basically, been in pain for twenty years.

I have all sorts of thoughts about this, but I'm too sore, tired, medicated, and angry to make anything coherent out of them

ETA: But, in a nutshell — probably a hideously non-ergonomic nutshell with no padding for my hip — people in chronic pain need, basically, doulas.

Crossposts: http://commodorified.livejournal.com/481327.html

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

sollers

I do see what you're saying and think you're perfectly right and have my deepest sympathy , but the word "doula" makes me very uncomfortable. It's the Greek term for a slave woman born in the owner's establishment, though (as is often the case) with the Latin ending. More highly regarded than one who had been bought, but still a slave and the social inferior of the per served.

From:

perennialanna

Me too. Especially when it comes to women who help with childbirth (not a bad role, but it really needs a better name). It really makes my skin crawl seeing that word flung around.

From:

james_g4clf

The meaning of "doula" has changed over the last couple of millennia, that's not what it means today. Whether or not a word is acceptable changes (both ways) very quickly so I feel that the social status of a doula in Ancient Greece does not really justify eschewing the word today.

If a doula is what Marna needs, that's what she should have - plus hugs, kittens, wine and chocolate oranges.

From:

perennialanna

I would love to debate that one with you (I have a whole list of citations all ready and waiting, because believe me, I have researched this one...) but it isn't the time or the place.

So I'll say what I forgot to say first time, and wish Marna all the helpful things, and especially a comforter (old sense. The sense newer editions of the King James Version have to put in a note explaining. I wish it was still as strong a word as that).

From:

commodorified

It's not that I don't take your point, but I am less inclined to bo bothered when a word from a culture no longer extant (Greek culture certainly being alive and a descendant but not sharing a lot of points wrt socio-political structure.)

It's a recognised profession around here, so in practical terms I think we're stuck with it.

From:

perennialanna

It's a profession here too, but I think the relative newness is why the "What is a Doula?" sections of websites usually start with something along the lines of "Doula is a Greek word meaning "woman servant or caregiver"" (Doulas UK website).

Still, whilst in many ways it falls into ancillary care, presumably someone at some point spotted that ancilla is so often translated handmaid that perhaps we'd better not go there.

From:

commodorified

Yeah, I can see the vexedness.

From:

commodorified

Hugs, chocolate and kittens most appreciated- as is the lovely pair of knives, which I realise I never thanked you for. They are fab; I kept one and shared one with

staranise, who was also knife-deprived, and our kitchens are much improved!

*hugs*

From:

james_g4clf

Hugs and kittens are virtual as I'm 5313 km away, but a chocolate orange is on its way. Bynnifer, who is far from a kitten, being nearly 19, sends a purr.

From:

commodorified

From:

thnidu

One of Dr. Whom's axioms is Etymology ≠ meaning. Is a cupboard a board where you keep your cups? In government, does a magistrate (< Latin 'more') outrank a minister (< Latin 'less')? Is an airplane an automobile (< Greek 'self' + Latin 'moving')?

Yes, δούλη meant 'female slave' in Ancient Greek, and "húsbóndi" meant 'occupier and tiller of the soil' in Old Norse. Neither of these is anything like the meanings of these words' Modern English descendants, "doula" and "husband".

If the meaning of δούλη haunts the word "doula" for you, I sympathize, but I can't support abandoning the modern word. By that principle, we'd have to change most of our vocabulary, because every word has bad associations for someone... and then we'd have to do it all over again, and again... ad infinitum, because there'd be no end to it.

From:

mtl

I empathize greatly and love the idea of pain doulas.

From:

thnidu

Wishing you all the comfort you can handle.

From:

fallconsmate

i appreciate the discussion of word meanings in the comments!

and i also have sympathy and empathy for you...i've been dealing with "i'm in pain" since i was in single digits of year-counting.

i have too many days of "welp, i did something that took me out of the house yesterday, so today is a total wash" days and i'm furious and undermedicated and exhausted, and here, share a cup of tea with me. and i love internet hugs the best because they NEVER hurt, you know?

here's to doulas to take care of us and to run interference between us and uncaring/uneducated medicos. bless you, dear.